Mindnumbing Celebrity Headlines. Yes. They’re Real.

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Admittedly, we pee ourselves with glee when celebs cheat on each other or fall face first into puke pools. But when they drink coffee or take out the trash? Um. Yeah. No.

Still, the celebusphere has become an alien altworld in which mundane things are press-stopping must-reads.

Here are some of this week’s “Hot” Headlines that leave us cold: 

“Hot” Headline: “Zac Loves Balls: Is Zac Efron suffering from a serious case of the bad hair blues?”

Apparently, Zac Efron wore a hat. Twice this week, even. I’m going on a hunger strike. Free the Follicles! “News”/Photo Credit: Perez Hilton

 

“Hot” Headline: “Natalie Portman Smooches Her Pooch”

Ooooh, panic at LAX! Someone call Animal Services on Natal-beastialit-ie! 

“News”/Photo Credit: Just Jared

“Hot” Headline: “A Kiss for Matilda Ledger”

A mother kissing her child at LAX! That’s freakier than an owner kissing her pet! (Btw, what’s with all the lip service at the Los Angeles Airport? Should we be trolling there for love?)

“News”/Photo Credit: Celebrity Baby Blog

“Hot” Headline: “Ed Westwick Had Some Lunch!”

Omigod, that’s so weird because I had lunch yesterday tooooo! “News”/Photo Credit: Celebrity Puke

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