America’s Top Model + Idol – What happened last night?

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THIS IS POSSIBLY A RUNNING VISUAL GAG WITH A “DENIED” AND “THE HOTNESS” OR SOME SUCH TO DENOTE WINNER AND LOSER…LET’S DISCUSS! 🙂

America’s Next Top Model
The 2-hour kick-off to Season 12  dressed the girls up first as goddesses (but, um, the “goddess of friendliness?? Huh?), and then as little girls playing kiddie games like tug-o-war and ring-around-the-rosie. Way to empower the female.

Winner:
Allison, for her fearless double-dutch spread; she was prolly trying to get a nosebleed cuz she thinks they’re “really pretty.” Blood fetish is not hawt, but she won anyways.

Loser:
Isabella, whose lame-o dodgeball spread did not dodge the bullet of Tyra’s wrath. Thank gawd we don’t have to listen to any more of her whining about strobe lights setting off her epilepsy. 

American Idol
The semi-finalist round is over (except for tonight’s Wild Card-a-thon). Next week they compete old school, with one singer sent home after an emotional video tribute and being forced to sing through their tears. 

Winners:
1. Lil Rounds, duh. The mom of three tykes killed with Mary J. Blige. And then we got to hear her sing it again, yay. (Pictured below.)
2. Scott, who I guess I’m supposed to forgive for the Bruce Hornsby imitation because he is BLIND.
3. Jorge, who cried when Ryan delivered the news, because that is what he does.

Losers:
1. Nate, so no more boy headbands (see pic) or catfights with other contestants.
2. Kristen, who did not impress with her white-girl Tracy Chapman routine. Um, hello? When was that a good idea?
3. Ju’Not, who had to share all of his asthma stories with America and doesn’t even get to be a finalist. Bummer.

Wild Card Selections:
After bringing Felicia back from the dead after kicking off that Annie girl, she gets the hand again and doesn’t advance. What? Instead, after some cryptic last-minute decision making by the judges, we’re going to be tortured by hysterical Tatiana (pictured), at least for one more night.

* * *

Art:
Allison and Isabella from CW.com
Lil Rounds From Washington Post
Nate from americanidol.com
Tatiana from eonline.com

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