Shoot, Shag or Marry: The Jonas Brothers (Their 3-D Movie Opens Tonight!)

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Squealsies!

Every hot-blooded girl and cougar divorcee will be running to see Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience which opens tonight. The movie pairs footage from the tween idols’ last tour with behind-the-scenes B-roll. [Flesh alert! They’re supposedly shirtless backstage!]

Yes, we totally want them all in a creepy, inappropriate, pedophile kind of way, but if we had to choose who we’d Shoot, Shag, or Marry, we’d:

Shoot: Joe Jonasjoe-jonas3 

The 19-year-old middle bro may be nice, but he’s also the least talented and spends way too long styling his hair. Joe sings like younger sib Nick, but doesn’t play an instrument. Lame! Plus his ex, country starlet Taylor Swift, claims he broke up with her in a 27-second phone call. Not cool.

kevin-jonasShag: Kevin Jonas

The bros wear purity rings and have vowed to stay virgins until marriage. (Our money is on not so much.) Still, the 21-year-old is hot. People magazine named him one of the Sexiest Men of 2008—check out  his video response on People.com. Maybe it’s his soulful eyes, or the fact that he plays guitar (yum!). Or maybe we just like that he’s the only one old enough to got to a bar.  

Marry: Nick Jonasnick-jonas1

Nick may only be 16, but he’s clearly the leader of the pack and the one with the most musical chops. He’s been in Broadway plays like The Sound of Music, writes hit songs like JB jam “S.O.S,” released a solo album, and dated Miley Cyrus for two years. Nick’s also dealt with Type I diabetes since he was 13, which makes us want to take care of him. Plus we think he’s the only one with the potential to have a career post 25.

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