Westminster Dog Show Winners are Freaking Weird ‘n Ugly

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The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is one of those events that can only be taken seriously by the people (and animals) involved. The dogs are ugly, and the owners…well they’re a breed of their own. 

But in case you like barking up that tree, here are the deets on five of this year’s top dogs.

stump1

 

Who: Clussexx Three D Grinchy Glee aka “Stump
Won: Best in Show
Looks like:  Your grandfather, in dog-form.
Bow wow At age 10, Clusexx is the oldest dog to ever win Best in Show. Hm. I guess even in the dog world, old is the new young.


sadie5Who: Roundtown Mercedes Of Maryscot aka “Sadie the Rich Girl
Won: Best of Group for Terrier
Looks like: A small, bearded horse with no legs.
Bow wow. Sadie peed in the ring which ended her chance of winning Best in Show. Aw, her poor owners. Except, not. They own an island resort in Michigan (Michigan has islands?) and a vacation home in St. Croix.

toy

 

Who:  Cilleine Masquerade    
Won:  Best of Group for Toy
Looks like:  It ran full speed into a brick wall and never recovered.
Bow wow.  Judge Ken McDermott praised Cilleine Masquerade saying, “He has correct finish to his underjaw, a cobby body.”  Apparently, “cobby body” means short and wide. Heh. There’s one to tell your boyfriend.

yes-2

 

Who:  Randenn Tristar Affirmation aka “Yes”
Won:  Best of Group for Non-Sporting
Looks like:  A topiary who took hair advice from Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider.
Bow wow.  Yes is not a product of regular, old fashioned sex.  The semen of her father, Eaton Affirmed, was frozen and implanted into Yes’ mother. No way! Yes.

corkland1

 

Who:  Cordmaker Field Of Dreams
Won:  Best of Group for Terrier
Looks like:  Cousin It with dreadlocks.
Bow wow.  After they get a bath these dogs need to be dried for several hours or their fur will mildew.  Yuck.

****

WordUp:

Cobby body = the ideal body type for a show dog, short and wide

By the Numbers:

10 = the age of the oldest dog to ever win Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show

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