Science Class: Your Hymen and You

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**TO BE PEGGED TO A NEWS STORY ABOUT VIRGINITY, WITH A REVAMPED INTRO AT TIME OF POST

Guys sure love tearing into our hymens. It’s about time we do too. Because, like, it’s part of you…or at least it was until you had pre-marital sex you tramp, jk, but seriously, knowledge is power. And like Wonder Woman and She-Ra before us, we deserve Powerful Privates, right?

Here’s a crash course in what we like to call “hymenology.”

  • The hymen is a thin membrane not inside the vag but part of the external genitalia. Its presence is often used to determine whether or not a woman is a virgin. However, the condition of the hymen after puberty is not a reliable indicator that sexy time has been had. Hymens can be ripped from vigorous athletics, vigorous masturbation, and even vigorous tampon use.
  • There are 4 common types of hymens normal, imperforate (a thin membrane that completely covers the opening), microperforate (thin membrane that almost completely covers the opening) or septate (thin hymenal membrane has a band of extra tissue in the middle that causes two small vaginal openings instead of one). The imperforate and microperforate vaggy varietals can require surgery for menstrual blood to flow correctly or for tampon usage.
  • In the 16th and 17th centuries, people believed the hymen indicated a disease they called womb-fury, which if not cured could result in death. The cure was sex and consequentially marriage. Though, hm. If the cause of womb fury is lack of sex, then my womb actually is full of rage.
  • Many animals have hymens too, the weirdest phenomenon is guinea pig hymen which dissolves when the female is in heat and grows back after mating. The Top 5 Funniest Animals with Hymens: Bush babies, Clams, Shrews, Ladybugs, and Narwhals.

****

WordUp:

Womb Fury: a disease of the 16th and 17th centuries, indicated by the presence of a hymen, and cured by sex.

By the Numbers:

2: number of vag holes you have if you possess a septate hymen

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