When Animals Attack: The Secret Life of Cows

by

holycow
Yesterday, a Boulder, Colorado bicyclist was brutally knocked over by a cow who then trampled her legs. I’ve never seen a cow move fast enough to knock an otherwise healthy person of a bike and trample them. Maybe I could see a cow thoughtfully chewing someone to death…that’d be pretty cool.

While cow attacks are rare, it’s important to know your enemy. Here are some bovine bullets to keep in you in the know!

  • Cows have four stomachs: the rumen, reticulum, omasum and abomasum. Perhaps these will be the hot new celebrity baby names? The abomasum is the last stomach foor passes through and is comparable in structure and function to a human’s.
  • Cow Clone Wars: A year ago, the FDA approved milk and meat from cloned cows, goats and pigs safe for consumption. But many companies are respecting a USDA-recommended voluntary ban that has been in place since 2001. But, like OMG. Did you guys even know they were cloning cows?
  • Indian Cowboys: Delhi, India has hired cow catchers who snag and ship cows outside the city limits, sometimes to cow reserves. It’s funny that cows are sacred to the Hindus, didn’t Christians try that once with the golden calf?
  • Dairy Farmer Disaster: For maybe the first time since the Great Depression, next month’s milk prices might not even cover the cost of feed to produce that milk. Milk mustaches will come at a price.
  • Cow Burps vs. Ozone Layer: Two of the largest culprits of hydrocarbon emissions are cars…and cows! Cows release some 100 million tons of hydrocarbon annually – by releasing gas through burps and farts. So next time you drive by a field of cows, imagine they’re all burping the alphabet!

*****

WordUp:

abomasum= The fourth division of the stomach in ruminant animals, such as cows, sheep, and deer, in which digestion takes place.

By the Numbers:

100 million tons= amount of hydrocarbon cows release annually

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