Deep Dish: Britney’s $14 Million Book Deal

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I know that you, like me, had to push aside hundreds of inaug reports in order to find the real news.  Blah, blah, blah, president, blah, blah, caucus, blah, oh thank Gawd Britney!

The UK’s Daily Mirror reports this morning that Britney Spears will receive $14 million for a tell-all autobiographic book deal. The pop star will allegedly start penning her mems after her sell-out world tour. Britney has apparently  kept diaries throughout her career and will only leave out what she wants to leave out, which was never an option in the unofficial biographies written about her, which make her seem like a wreck, obvs.

There is much speculation about whether this deal is legit, will go through, or whether those tea-pushers are starting the rumor cause they’re still mad about that silly Revolutionary War. According to The Mirror, if it happens, Brit will write between three and five books in the next decade. What’s left to tell? You may remember that Brit’s mom Lynne Spears delivered Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, last September. In it, she told the world (or the few dummies who read it) of Brit Brit’s 14-year-old virginity loss and cocaine experimentation.

My parents never let me get knocked or coked up and I turned out awesome. Do I have a $14 million book deal? No, no I don’t. (Sigh.)

In other news only British people are reporting, Kelly Osbourne was arrested for slapping a bitchy gossip columnist who dissed her model boyfriend. You can be arrested for slapping people? Crap! Um. It was a love tap. I swear!

*****

WordUp:

Through the Storm= Britney’s mom’s trashy  parenting  tell-all that dishes on the singer’s cherry pop and dalliance with white lines.

By the Numbers:

14 million= amount Britney’s been offered in a hefty book deal

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